Becoming Less Patient and More Assertive

Over the years I have often been referred to as the "nice" and "patient" one or the "smart" one or more recently, the "strange" and "different" one. I see all these qualities as being complements, even the one about me being strange. However, each of these qualities have their time and place. Other times, you have to become more assertive and what some people might call being mean or being a bit of an ass when the situation calls for it.

            The above video of former US President Bill Clinton addressing a heckler is something I have always related to. In years gone past I would have been too shy and conservative to have spoken to anyone like this, even when they probably deserved a good bollocking or two. Even now, I probably don't do it as much or as assertively as I should do. Saying that, I'm better than I was and I have given people what for when they've deserved it. Now I simply need to bring this behaviour more naturally into my everyday dealings.

          This being said, I wouldn't go about acting like this all the time, that would simply make me a jerk. As such, I will always try and approach people in the way that suits them first and  approach someone that is nice in a reciprocally nice and suttle manner. Nor will I underestimate the art of diplomacy, the problem with using an aggressive tone all the time is that over tine, people become accustomed and immune to it. Thus, it will lose its effectiveness and eventually, people will just stop listening and ignore you. I will also always keep in mind that being assertive isn't always the best first choice when approaching a problem and I will only ever argue with people who I know can handle it and can argue back. However, there will always be situations that require a more assertive tone like the one in the video above and to do this more often is a skill I need to develop.

          Developing this diplomatic assertiveness in appropriate situations will help me both, in both my professional and personal lives. This is due to people in the past often taking advantage of my apparent "nice" and "patient" nature. If I were to have any regrets, it would be that I wasn't more assertive when I was younger, especially in certain situation or towards certain people who, like I said, probably deserved a good bollocking. But then again, the reason I don't consider it a regret is because if not for these experiences, how else are we meant to learn and develop ourselves and our personalities? This type of assertiveness will improve the quality of my work by reducing the time required to fulfill it and improve my chances of future promotion. It will also lead to me becoming more content in my personal life by becoming more bold in the things I do and an increased willingness to take a risk every once in a while.

          I still have a long way to go, but I will continue to develop as I learn more and the confidence I have in my ability grows. This will come naturally as I enter the world of work and I look forward the challenges that life shall bring.

Thanks for reading,

Jason Cates